The Single Life ...

By Nina Garret

Now that I am older, being single on Valentine’s Day is starting to get to me. It didn’t use to, but I guess getting older puts a different spin on things. What started off as me thinking, “It’s just another holiday,” has now evolved into asking, “Why don’t I have a boyfriend?”

This annoying thorn in my side is what I like to call the evils of societal pressures. Gladly reminding me when it’s inclined to do so that I am sans beau. Why am I feeling this? Is it because I’m a woman? Or is this a disability thing, or both? Truth be told, the dating game is more of a challenge for the Disabled than for nondisabled singles. On second thought, let’s face it; the dating scene is not easy for anyone.

For those who are without a significant other, aka the ‘relationship-challenged,’ Valentine’s Day is possibly one of the worst days of the year for single people, whether or not he or she is disabled. With media’s ever-so-clever marketing tactics in television commercials, magazine ads and storefronts, reminding consumers of the day for lovers, with its heart-shaped, pink and red-hazard lights, flashing before you, shouting out catchy slogans that say, “show her (or him) how much you really care by buying our over-priced gifts,” it is virtually unavoidable to ignore February 14.

The aggressive marketing tactics that intrude on those without a significant other can make the most confident individuals, who are happily-single, feel like they’ve been suddenly attacked by a spell of insecurities.

At such times, I find myself asking stupid questions, like, “Why am I single? Is there something wrong with me? Am I missing something in life?”

So why do I go through this? Because I can and I allow it! It’s like the one day we throw a pity-party for ourselves. Right ladies?! In order to make ourselves feel better we eat an entire box of chocolates, devour a carton of Hagan Daz, get trashed with girlfriends (single of course), go shopping and, my favorite, to secretly curse everyone’s dates. Kidding of course.

Afterwards, I come to my senses and realize that I like the freedom that comes with being single. It ain’t so bad being single.

I realize as I am getting older that life brings new challenges. Everything is a little more complex. Nothing is simple anymore, or simply black or white. It’s not the same as it was when we were kids.

Remember when we were in grade school and Valentines Day was just a fun day. It was about sweets, passing out V-Day cards to everyone and receiving one from each member of your homeroom. And, selecting a “special” card for that special someone. And making sure you picked an “appropriate” card for an individual so they wouldn’t get the wrong idea.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Escaping the pressures that society puts on all of us, and our own self doubts, is a constant battle. But that’s life. Sooner or later we come to the conclusion that life is not about living up to other people’s standards. It’s about living up to our own standards. The things we worry about and dwell on right now don’t matter in the scheme of things. What is important? Knowing who you are, family, friends and doing the right things. At least there’s one advantage about getting older, we get wiser!

Yes, I may be man-less and relationship-challenged, but who says I’m not perfectly content or not happy with the things I have? Got to keep reminding myself of the things I DO have. The single life is nothing to be ashamed of, nor is it some sort of character flaw.

When it happens, it happens! Mr. Right will eventually come knocking on my door. Besides, patience is a good virtue to have. Although, having Mr. Right Now wouldn’t be a bad thing either. So until that happens, I’m going to enjoy my full life and just play the field.