Recently, the subject of dating has come up more times than I’d like.

For someone who does not date much, it’s still a touchy subject. Whatever my reasons may be at any given moment, disability and dating in our community is a different playing field. With different rules and “players” coming up to bat, the real question is how many opportunities do we have to get to the plate or how frequent are these “players” willing to step up to the plate? And does it matter if these so-called “players” are on another team (the non-disabled) or is it just assumed that we must date within our team?

Am I missing something, or are the days where people were confined to dating someone of their own “kind” suddenly a new trend again?

A few months ago, a friend of mine was telling me about a friend of his who also has cp. At any chance or opportunity I’m always excited to hear about others who are disabled. Like usual, I ask questions like what disability, where they’re from and how old, etc. My friend responds to the last question, saying; he’s too old for you … a few weeks later while talking to a family member, I mention a friend of mine who’s a paraplegic … they say something in the lines of why don’t you date him?

The same implications seem to be thrust upon me whenever a male counterpart, especially with cp, is brought into the picture. Am I missing something, or are the days where people were confined to dating someone of their own “kind” suddenly a new trend again?

Now, I know these comments in fact are harmless, but it does add fuel to the negative assumptions and attitudes towards the Disabled community. Why is it that just because I have cp, I should be limited to dating men or “players” who have cp or other disabilities? Is there an unwritten law that states that I shouldn’t welcome other “players” from the opposing team or even limit the types of  “players” to step up to the plate. The quality of these “players” within and out of my team are already few and far between.

For the most part, dating is not easy, dare I say unbearable…

The complexities of the dating game in our society has changed with emphasizing more importance on physical attributes like weight, height, color of hair, and athleticism - the pressure to fit into this mold is overwhelming.

The importance of physical attributes in the disability community does come into play, even if there are those who do not admit to it. We all fall into the trap!

Fitting into this particular mold does not exclude anyone and certainly not me. I am just as vain as the next woman. The importance of physical attributes in the disability community does come into play, even if there are those who do not admit to it. We all fall into the trap!

Against popular belief, even the Disabled have certain requirements when finding a mate and someone’s physical appearance is included. Along with these requirements the decision to date someone who is disabled or nondisabled is a quandary.

Now, before anyone gets their panties into a bunch, let’s be honest. The reality is we all have standards and have superficial tendencies. Outsiders may view that as being hypocrites. We all are, just like everyone’s a critic.

I am an open minded person, so the idea of being open to having many “players”, even the non-disabled men, step up to the plate is not a new concept. The real important question is whether they can hit a home run before they strike out. Also, will they be able to handle whatever I throw at them?

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